I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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