I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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