JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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