Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Randomize
