Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
