ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I want to fling myself into the sun
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
