yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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