I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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