so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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