dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I think I have vodka in my lungs
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
