This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize