Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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