Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
