she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
