this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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