I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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