Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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