So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
