Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
nutella sex= disaster
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
