I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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