well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
