i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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