No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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