I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
