and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
