I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
