Got a toothbrush?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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