So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
