i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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