6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I didn't notice because vodka
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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