She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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