This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
