yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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