..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize