so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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