Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
