Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
