i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I still have a little drunk in my system
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
