Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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