you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i dont even know how to be here
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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