Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Is Oprah even human
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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