no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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