Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
