Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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