don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
