Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
