YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
