You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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