Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
