i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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