The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
