She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
