bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
