I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
