How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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