i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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