He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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