Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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