hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
