I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
