Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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