How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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