he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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