We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize